Let me show you how...
Eight weeks ago, I received a message from the RKs that it was time to discuss spiritual amnesia.
It had been floating around for a while in my sessions with the Akashic Records, but they became insistent that the time was NOW to bring it up to the collective conscience.
So I began to record videos, mainly on TikTok, talking about symptoms of spiritual amnesia and what that means. This was all in preparation for teaching students in Become an Akashic Records Guide and MYSTIC. I felt like I was on fire and showing up with passion and purpose every day.
Then...I found myself experiencing spiritual amnesia and forgetting. I had energetic relapses that started with small niggling moments of self-doubt that spiraled into feeling down, lonely, isolated, and super-duper-beyond-my-
Let's face it… we're all sensitive creatures. Of course, we don't always want to admit it, but we feel the slightest change in our internal and external environment, which can cause us to feel imbalanced and off-kilter.
This year started off with a deep level of loss from my cat to my aunt and then to my partner's grandmother. It seems like every month, we've lost someone or something very important to us. I thought I was doing so well until I finally hit the spiritual amnesia wall.
My coach even asked if I had cried recently, and I was so shocked at the question.
"Uh...no," I responded, sounding congested and stuffy because I was fighting getting sick. "And if I do, then I definitely won't be able to breathe."
That was my knee-jerk response to a simple question that triggered me because I was deep in a spiritual amnesia quagmire, and crying is not my go-to for dealing with stress.
I'm normally a positive, happy-go-lucky, and upbeat kind of gal. It's my preferred state, and I work hard to stay in that mindset.
But now my coach is asking if I've cried?!? I'm not a freaking baby, but I realized I hadn't cried or processed ALL the different levels of loss that had hit me. I was holding it in like a Spartan, and there was no glory in the hidden suffering.
Guess what happened? I hit a wall again right after launching BARG and MYSTIC. The masculine energy of go-go-go had to sit with the feminine energy that simply wanted to BE and REMEMBER. And everything just stopped. I unconsciously pushed the brakes without telling my conscious operating system we needed a moment to process and left myself hanging.
It was as if I had forgotten my happy place and how to get there. It was as if I had forgotten WHY I was doing this in the first place.
I was struggling inside to feel positive, motivated, and super inspired. This feeling can be challenging when you're teaching, coaching, and seeing clients. You're trying to keep the vibration high and pushing yourself to feel something you 100% don't.
I also realized that I wasn't sitting with grief well. In addition to losing people and pets, I'm also grieving the loss of youth as I creep closer to turning 50 and have started experiencing peri-menopausal symptoms. That's not fun at all, and somehow I'm internally flipping out that aging is catching up to me.
I am freaking out about an Earth age when I know my soul is older than Earth years. It makes me want to shake myself hard and say, "Wake the F#&K up! You don't have time to wallow in misery."
But that would go against what my feminine nature is asking of me right now: LOOK at how I AM inside, FEEL it, ALLOW it, and MOVE it through. It's a process, and it takes time.
I know some of you are struggling inside right now. I can sense it, and some of your emails reflect it. This awareness is important because we're processing something globally, spiritually, and energetically, and it's not just us.
When I'm feeling vulnerable, puny, or overly sensitive, I find these newsletters hard to write, and I want to hide from the world. However, that's not what my soul's purpose and path are. My Soul Council wants me to feel all of it and process what's coming through in the moment (thanks a lot, you guys).
It's not easy showing up with your emotions on your sleeve; however, I know that what I'm feeling mirrors what the collective is also feeling. If I don't name it, I'll roll over it, and dammit… I'd rather have the courage to admit I'm struggling than glaze over it and pretend nothing is wrong.
There's quite a lot wrong with the world and also quite a lot right. It depends on which side you choose to engage with and how you want to see it.
I'm coming out of this struggle, and it feels like a soul emergence from another layer of spiritual amnesia being shed. We all come to another level of transcendence as we face, love, and accept ourselves.
When I began to write about spiritual amnesia eight weeks ago, I didn't realize I would come into another experience of awakening and remembering. I didn't realize my Soul Council would make me forget what it feels like to be joyful so I could return to it stronger and braver than before. I didn't realize my life would feel like it got turned upside down so I could embrace it in its full totality and feel right side up.
I fought it and didn't want to see it. I was happy to ignore my feelings and keep pushing myself to work and create. But I kept hitting a wall and realized I couldn't go any further until I sat with it and permitted myself to heal and evolve.
And that's when Spirit sent snake medicine to me.
I was on a hike a week ago, partially in my body and partially in my head as I walked. I had just crossed a ravine and was about to rejoin the trail when I nearly stepped on top of a large, 4-foot-long, brown snake. I jumped back and did the "SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAKE!" dance and then nearly had a heart attack.
Why then? Why now? Why SNAKE?
With adrenaline pumping through my body, I asked, "What is this about?"
That's when I heard my Soul Council's voice whisper in my ear. "It's an invitation to transform, shed the layers, and appear with courage and unflinching self-acceptance. You've forgotten, and you're afraid. Are you ready?"
What do you do? What do you say? So…I meekly nodded yes, but my body was still trippin' from the sighting and wanted a moment to process.
So here's what came through:
1. Soul emergence is necessary for healing, evolution, and empowerment.
2. Spiritual amnesia happens to everyone at different stages and times.
2. Transcendence is necessary to level up, face yourself, and let go.
3. BEING is now more important than just DOING. It has to match, or you work harder to manifest whatever you want.
4. Being KIND to yourself and giving yourself grace and permission allows you to receive it from the world.
5. Personal evolution doesn't have to come with a huge blast, crowds chanting your name or even some kind of reward. It's a gift of awareness that you're here now, and that's what matters, so be willing to face yourself and do the inner work because that's what you're here for.
I know that this internal/external struggle won't last long. It's a layer or part of myself that I'm leaving behind as I enter the next phase of life. Cycles happen for a reason.
You may also be feeling the same, and this is what I leave you with.
Remember this, friend. This ride on Earth only lasts for a while, so make it as enjoyable, pleasurable, and fun as possible. Let go of self-judgment and guilt because you have the right to exercise free will and choice daily, so choose from a place of gratitude and BEING rather than stress and worry.
Most of all, let yourself feel it. Go through the dark space of struggle to emerge on the other side of light. This hard emotional work is part of your soul's work on Earth, especially because what you're going through for you will ripple out into the world through the people that connect with you.
So take good care of your heart, head, and soul. Be kind and allow yourself to grow. Be willing to love and accept yourself unconditionally. These choices are your most precious gift to yourself in your times of need.
Most of all, let me know. Have you been struggling inside too? If so, what have you done to help yourself heal and evolve?
Just know this, I'm rooting and advocating for you and holding space for you to be loved, healed, and whole because you, my friend, are enough.
Here's to your personal soul emergence and feeling victorious after awakening and remembering.