Facing the Heart of the Beast - Part 3 of 3

Do you always know what you need?

I don't. That's why it's so valuable to give yourself time for self-reflection, assimilation, and integration. Oh, and I occasionally like to get readings to find out where I'm at or how I'm doing.

It's been nearly a month since I returned from my trip to Costa Rica and Nicaragua. It's taken nearly this long to assimilate and integrate what's happened and what I've experienced because I gave myself the gift I normally don't do: self-reflection.

For the last year or two, the world around me has slowed down. I did the opposite. I ramped up and got wildly busy, teaching and offering a spectrum of Masterclasses that pushed me way past my comfort zone and opened me to a deeper connection with the Akashic Records.

I met every invitation brought to me by The Record Keepers (RK's) and my team with a YES and didn't stop to think through the outcome or consequences of any action.

 I kept showing up. I kept delivering. I kept going and going and going.

It wasn't until March that I realized that I was suffering from burnout. This was energy familiar to me as a nurse when I worked in the hospital, and I learned to deal with it and keep going. As an entrepreneur and holistic practitioner, burnout can stem from many sources.

Burnout appears as feeling restless, discomfort, and overwhelmed. It appears as "not knowing what you want to do" or feeling a sense of direction-less. I was deep in the mire of that.

Now I want to be very clear about something. Doing Akashic Record Readings and teaching BARG (Become an Akashic Records Reading) were not contributing to my burnout. These are actually fun and easy things to do in my life. I feel like I can do it in my sleep.

What I could no longer do in my waking or sleeping hours was to continue to PUSH.

I felt like I was pushing things to happen in many areas of my life, which required a huge expenditure of internal and external energy. I felt like a walking contradiction.

My Guides were telling me to relax and receive, but my conscious/Egoic mind was coming up with a never-ending list of tasks to meet some goal or objective. Talk about feeling imbalanced! And…it seemed like I had lost real sight of what the true goal or objective was.

Hence, I left the country and decided to explore what life out of the box felt like in Costa Rica and Nicaragua. Unfortunately, I did something completely out of my character because I was so imbalanced. I just winged it and didn't prepare AT ALL. I didn't research the locations we were going to, the climate, region, food, insects, or anything. I didn't prep at all.

I wasn't prepared mentally, physically, or emotionally for the depths I would be pushed. Some days, we simply agreed to only rest and not do anything. And friend…I wasn't pushed "that hard" by many people's standards.

I never went without access to resources or help. I never felt scared that threat or harm was imminent. I never felt like we took on something too much or couldn't get out of it.

I'm sharing this with you because I'm 100% embracing my marshmallow softness. I left and traveled soft and squishy and got poked on many levels by the Universe, toughening me up so I could deal with the reality of what it's like to travel. I returned, a bit hardened by the trials and tribulations of traveling during a pandemic, being completely out of my element, and relying 24/7 on someone else

True, it's not always easy, but nothing is that easy peasy in our regular lives. There's always some level of work required because we're human. We have to process, feel, experience, and understand so that in the end, we can recognize our reactionary system and work on it.

I needed a moment to unplug so that when I plugged back into "ME," I'd have a more grounded and centered way of Being.

It's taken time in Nature, working in the garden, honoring downtime, and doing the things I love.

It's taken music - both live and pulsatingly in front of me - to rewire my disillusionment and help me come back to WHY I travel and explore in the first place.

It's taken time with friends, reasoning together to help me integrate and assimilate what I've experienced.

I travel to learn, discover and get in touch with elements of Mother Earth that I don't get to see every day.

I travel to meet new people, try new foods and experience different cultures.

I travel to understand our shared differences and similarities while soaking in the stories of the past.

I travel to meet the magic of life, curious to see what it brings when I'm open to receiving it.

I travel to face the heart of the inner beast who grows restless and uncomfortable in routines and occasionally needs a dose of being lost, free, and a kid again to feel soothed and satiated.

It took a while to assimilate and integrate this recent travel experience. It taught me so many things, and I grew on many levels. But, most of all, it reminded me to slow down and take it at a more present and conscious pace.

After all, there's no need to push when it's already on its way. And if it doesn't arrive, no amount of pushing was going to force it to happen, right?

Onward and forward we go! Life continues to call and invite us to play and participate. So don't stop listening and answering the call! It's what keeps you youthful and ageless!

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