What does Grief teach us about Love?

attitudes and perspectives blog by anne marie pizarro Feb 14, 2023
image of a statue looking sad

Grief has an incredible way of teaching us about love.

Recently, my family experienced a very tragic loss in the form of my aunt. She was quite a powerhouse of a lady and left a legacy of beautiful children and grandchildren, all carrying an imprint of spitfire and courage. When she passed, a huge hole opened in our family. Many people, including my cousins (her children and grandchildren), got swallowed up in that hole and felt only the loss.

However, grief has an incredible way of teaching us about love.

And love…. that's what I'm going to talk about this week.

After all, we're celebrating one of Hallmark's biggest holidays, Valentine's Day, and I don't want to diminish the powerful effects of love. And...I want to focus on something other than romantic love, with or without partnership. I'm on a train of thought here. Stay with me, friend.

As I said, grief has an incredible way of teaching us about love.

During my aunt's transition and passing, many people flew in from around the world to be together to honor this time. In addition, her brother and sister came from out of the country to pay their respects and also share their love.

Amidst the tears and sadness, I witnessed family standing in solidarity with one another, supporting and being a rock for others to lean on.

That's the power of love. It can build you up, prop you up and give you strength when you feel weak. It can remind you of the good times, the bond and energy, and the feelings of joy. There were many times that I witnessed my family coming together to celebrate, laugh and hug each other.

It is true. Love and grief are opposite sides of the same coin, and you can feel the strength of both so strongly.

I have grieved as much as I have loved, and I would have it no other way.

I've loved and lost, and it hurt like hell.

I've loved and been disappointed; it took years to get over it.

I've loved and been loved back, gaining the experience of knowing how to handle and care for other people's precious hearts.

Love is a wild and turbulent ride sometimes, akin to the forces of grief.

Love can inflate you, fill you with courage and invincibility and water your dreams with hopes. But, on the other hand, love can also cause you to do unpredictable and foolish things that you might 'regret' later. Love causes you to be protective and cautious but also invites you to be bold and exploratory.

They say love is Source's purest form of expression, and I agree. However, love and grief hold the same coin, and it's in grief that we also turn to Source.

There are many stories I could share about love, but I'll share with you three that come top of mind:

The first is the purest love I've ever felt, and that came from gazing into the newborn eyes of my daughter, Kalaiah. When Kalaiah was born, I was filled with such waves of unconditional love that I vowed to protect her no matter what the cost to me. This love I felt for her made me choose her over jealous partners or people who didn't honor our bond. This love I felt for her made me work harder than ever for her during high school and college because I knew she would need me more than ever. This love I felt for her made me a better person because I wanted to model what a strong, happy, and loving woman looked like. She became my greatest teacher in love.

The second story I'd like to share is about true love. Jon, my Beloved King, and I wove in and out of each other's lives for many years before our timing synched up. And when it did, I wanted to run from this love because I was so scared that it wasn't real. One night, I remember seeing in his eyes the soul stories we had shared as partners, lovers, and friends through all our different incarnations. I knew our love drew us back to each other in this lifetime and previous times because we had unfinished business. Jon has been one of my biggest teachers in opening my heart to trust and be taken care of in love. I've seen this man step up time and time again to provide for his family and to give me a wonderful life. Nine years later, I'm grateful that this love story continues to grow.

My third love story is about the hardest kind of love. This is the kind of love you lose very early and marks a significant time in your life. One of the hardest acts of love came from my mom when she chose to come to the United States and leave me with my grandparents in the Philippines. I can't imagine how hard that must have been, and I spent years trying to heal from that pain and trauma. Although I didn't get it back then, this is exactly what needed to happen in the grand scheme of things. This one action is a great testament to love and allowed her to bring 90% of her family to the United States because she forged the path ahead. I gained that true understanding and compassion once I had a child and had to make difficult sacrifices to provide.  

Love isn't always the easiest path and is sometimes fraught with challenges, lessons, and pain. Romantic love has its own category of highs and lows. You can even lose yourself in love.

However, love and grief are part of our work on Earth.

To permit ourselves to love is to feel the entirety of its existence. To permit ourselves to jump in fully, even at the cost of being hurt, takes courage and such brevity. To permit ourselves to be vulnerable, to be seen and loved… that's a big test of faith.

Sometimes it's worth it. Sometimes it's not.

Love and the search for it, the pain of it, and the wake it leaves have created voluminous art in music, books, movies, stories, and more.  

Love invites us to be creative because it stems from Source. It comes from a place of pure potential and magic.

Do we try and muck it up?!? Yes…100% because our human nature wrestles with its worthiness around love. We have filters that are gummed up by screwy teachers and experiences. As a result, we come from fear and wariness rather than curiosity and wonder. And it's because...we don't fully trust love.
Dang,...it feels really good, but it could also hurt really bad. So what do you do?

You choose. Either jump in and really do it or keep sitting on the sidelines, but what won't wait for you is time.  

The coin is spinning—love on one side and grief on the other.

You blink, and you'll find that invitation to love now exists in the past, and all you have is memories of what could have been.

So during this week of 'love,' I want to remind you to love yourself first. Then, give this gift to yourself through a kind act, a lovely accessory, or, that's right...another crystal. You could always have one more, right?

Then, shine this light of love on other beings on Earth with whom you share your beautiful vibration and energy. Whether it's your family, husband, boyfriend, kids, friends, clients, or strangers you meet along the way, remember that we are all Divine mirrors of each other.

That's where love is our greatest teacher. To love ourselves unconditionally means we can open up to love others the same. That's when our world heals, evolves, and transforms.

So I leave you with these three key messages when it comes to love:

  1. Be willing to allow yourself love and feel that love that comes out of you, blessing the world with lightness, gratitude, and joy.

  2. You are a messenger of love because Source moves through you and is in harmony with this high vibration that weaves and binds all Creation.

  3. Much like grief, love exists on a spectrum. You exist on that spectrum wherever you are, so don't fight it. Just be with it, even if you don't feel it.

So Happy Valentine's Day, friend. May you feel this bright ray of love I'm sending as a heartlink! May you feel blessed and abundant in all you do! May you know that you're loved and appreciated for being a part of Mother Earth.


Stay connected with news and updates!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.

We hate SPAM. We will never sell your information, for any reason.